The opinions expressed herein are my own personal opinions and do not represent anyone else's view in any way, including those of my employer.
Copyright © Spitting Bullets 2008
Following what can only be described as the most tenacious under-cover investigation the UK has ever seen from a group of TV journalists, BBC Watchdog has found that a young boy’s Nike football boots were accused of smelling of cat piss.
BBC Watchdog unveiled the disturbing truth tonight on BBC1, a television channel funded by the licence fee. This amazingly fair and brilliantly informative programme, who only last week showed its journalistic prowess by reporting that BA were simultaneously the best and worst airline in Britain, filmed the owner of the ludicrously expensive football boots (£2.5m), saying:
“I got accused of keeping the cat in my bedroom because it smelt like cat wee.”
Whether the cat smelt of wee or not was, it now seems, irrelevant. It was the devastation and shame suffered because of his family’s false accusations and the implied relationship with the family cat, that led to the young man agreeing to be interviewed by BBC Watchdog - a safe haven for ‘victims’ if ever there was one.
Although BBC Watchdog failed to discover if the cat did smell of its own piss, after many hours of research conducted by seasoned complaints gurus (Nicky Campbell and Julia Bradbury), it soon learnt that the family may have quite literally banned the boy’s shoes from the house. It has since become apparent that the boy’s parents might have been asked by the BBC Watchdog team to confirm whether they had in fact banned the football boots from the house. Spitting Bullets is almost certain that if they had been asked whether the boy’s football boots had been banned from the house, they would have said:
“Yes, we’ve banned the football boots from the house.”
The turmoil and suffering experienced by this young and aspiring soccer devotee will no doubt affect him deeply - perhaps even, until he receives his next expensive and hugely disappointing piece of over-priced sweatshop produced footwear.
When contacted by Spitting Bullets, a spokesperson from ITV said that there were no members of the BBC Watchdog team available for comment. They suggested that anybody interested in pursuing this story further, should try contacting the BBC directly.
Copyright © 2008 Spitting Bullets
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